Tuesday, July 25, 2006
hello! this post may not be meant for you to read. so if you dont understand what im talking, its ok. you try ask me lor. but certain ppl can know only. haha. =Danyway, this post is all abt dreams, dreams and dreams! these few days were my dream days. i dream many things that were scary yet complicating, confusing but exciting and yeah, i repeat again. ITS SCARY!! not all though. im going to share abt sunday night/ monday morning's dream first then followed by monday night/ tuesday morning's dream. cos its alot shorter. so..
SUNDAY NIGHT/ MONDAY MORNING'S DREAM
its abt A. its nothing much really but i just have something in me that feels uncomfortable. so ya. but i think its smth good la. so ya. me, B, and C were playing ard. i dunno what though. but we are in D. but dunno where la. some corner. and A did not go to D. but, as we were playing, A suddenly appeared and grab C. then they start to play... me and B were like. ehh.. since when did A appeared? i thought A never come? etc etc. err. and thats all i rmb leh. i dunno la. anyway, this is not the most impt dream that i want to pst abt. so lets move on. [make me think of the bak chor mee stall xD ahaha]
MONDAY NIGHT/ TUESDAY MORNING'S DREAM
this dream is more complicated and it has two parts. and THIS is the one that is scary. T_T ok. whatever i type in this [[ ]] are all in my dream. so in case you get confused. ok. i shall not explain. i just describe my dream as if im telling a story ok. personal recount.. so lets start.
[[i was sleeping. and i dreamt a horrible dream T_T (yes. i dream in a dream xD) me and E just got F at night. G was supposed to be at F too. but G disappeared. G was nowhere to be found. so me and E were screaming and shouting, "G!! where are you?" for a loong loong time. but no reply. we were all wondering where did G go. then we got worried. then, dunno why, i opened the H. and i saw J! they were at their usual "hangout" and i saw K at the corner dunno doing what. when K saw me, K quickly dunno do what. like very secretive like that. then K pulled out from the stairs some big dog. but i sensed there was smth wrong and i saw K holding onto a big stick. the baseball bat like thingy. i dunno what K doing so i just close the H. then later i saw G walking out from the L. G was crying very terribly and G was all bruised. me and E were VERY SHOCKED! and we asked" what happened??" soon, we found out that G was abused by K. (for i dunno what reason..) and yes, by some way, G can actually go to L without going thru F. so this means theres some secret passage or smth. no la. maybe went in by S. then, i woke up (in my dream).
i was supposed to go somewhere to wait to go M. it looks like some park. and there were like ard 5 other ppl there. then there was this guy there who seems to be the person to bring you to M. so i waited for my turn. but i got a little fidgetive and walk around. but when its my turn, he soon found me and brought me to some place. it was yet another waiting place. then he start to talk to me abt dunno wad, cant rmb. then he left. while waiting, i was very scared. though he told me that i will confirm go to M, but i was worried. im afraid that im not as good. and i dont want to N! im afraid i wont be accepted. im terrified and anxious yet a lil excited. i really hope that i had done enough but i doubt so. so i was crying and crying. very very nervous. after waiting for a long time, the guy havent come back yet. so i walked around, expecting him to find me when he is abt to bring me to M. after a loong time, he still did not come. it was alr very late at night. i waited and waited. he seemed to be gone. i cried again. OH NO! HES GONE WITHOUT ME! WHY DIDNT HE FIND ME. maybe he tried but didnt manage to find me. AHH.. does that mean that i cant go to M anymore?? i was even more terrified. i was crying and crying. T_T so after awhile i gave up and went and take a train home. it was those kind of old old train. and i dunno why la. O was with me. and i was still crying and i really dunno what to do. T_T then i was asking myself if i should tell O abt the dream abt G. blah blah blah. ]]
and i didnt dream anymore. i also dunno if i got tell the dream to O anot. LOL. but they were all sooo SCARY!! (though it may not seem scary to you at all) and i kind of get the meaning. abt A one. im not sure la. but i can see that one day, A will definitely come to D consistently. LOL. and abt the G one.. i think J represents P. and perhaps G is struggling right now. i can see.. G is in the hands of P. P is torturing and abusing G. P! I HATE P! I DONT NEED YOU IN MY LIFE! GET LOST! GET OUT OF G! and i pray that God will help G. may G always feel His presence. i pray that G will become more sensible and not stray off. not be influenced by P! i pray G will be able to feel our love. i pray that G will be strong in Christ and be strengthened in faith.
and regarding mine, i think its true. ive been worrying abt M. i think i dont have enough faith. and my self-discipline... no no no. i cant seem to get out of R's trap. its sooo irritating and bothering. but i just get soo soo tempted easily. when i was doing my QT this morning, i start to cry. i cant rmb for wad. but i want to only live for Him from now on. NEVER AGAIN WILL I REFUSE TO DO RIGHT AND DO THE WRONG. i proclaim, i declare, i shall not fall into R's trap again! NEVER!!!!!! COS I HATE YOU TOO MUCH. AND YOU WILL BE THE ONLY ONE I HATE ETERNALLY. and yes, I SIMPLY LOVE GOD TOO MUCH. so i will never be with R! the Lord rebukes you!!
and hey! fellow readers who doesnt understand what im talking abt. you can try asking me. but those that i dont want to tell, you cant force me. haha. and yeah. thats all for my post. and im grateful that i dreamt all these so i can do smth and change me and G. and i will forever praise His name.. AMEN
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Tuesday, July 18, 2006
hello! i had some survey abt school life in secondary thingy. haha. its quite funny and.. oops! =X i just remembered that im not supposed to discuss them after leaving the comp lab. LOL. so funny. whatever. so i shall stop here for that. hmm.. suddenly remembered that my sister today got cca. no wonder shes not back yet. LOL. aiyah. dunno what to blog alr la. lazy... =D ok! BYE BYE!! =D
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Monday, July 17, 2006
haha. today was a funny day! chaiyue became a mildly intoxicated hyper human being with one screw loose. HAHA. or maybe five screw loose. i think shes drunk or smth. maybe she consumed some laughing gas. she laughs like this: "heeheeheeheeheeheehee" very high pitch one. LOL. esp when we talk abt sakae. she will go very high. haha. but its only in the morning and evening(after f&n). haha. its good to see her laugh so much. makes me laugh and abit high too! =Danyway, we had chinese listening. it was quite ok la. but a lil more difficult compared than prelim. but i hope my answers will be correct. then can get full marks. =D prelim i only got 18/20. haha. and we are supposed to have our coursework B practical. but our teacher postponed it. we are also supposed to have f&n coursework A practical on sat. but it postponed one week later. haha. so happy! =D
thank God for today.. had loads of fun. =DD
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Thursday, July 13, 2006
haha. wahh. very long never blog liao.. and i promised to blog for GOD. and im late alr la. XDso yeap. lets start! last friday and saturday nights, i went to church of our saviour for the zhu zhi shen mu shi one.. wahh.. let me tell you my experience.
it happened on saturday night. it was after service and the reverend was like asking whoever that wants tongues or get rid of any bad habits, come up to the stage and pray. and since i have tongues alr, [and i really really thank GOD! i think its an opening door for me] so i go up to get rid of my irritating laziness! so i can mug for Os. so i was praying in tongues.. then there were ppl walking pass me looking for ppl to minister to. then some were trying to listen what i was mumbling abt. and when they heard that it was tongue, they just walked away.. [!!!] then there was another one.. she asked me if i know tongues. i said yes. so she just say a short prayer for me and walked off. at least better huh. then later, i saw another man [oops sorry i was peeping =X] standing in front of me and motioning some one to come here. so some one came, after some time[ not immediately] then they ask me to pray in tongues louder. so i shout louder and louder and louder. [though still not that loud. xD] then they were praying for me to be touched by the Holy Spirit. i think God prompted him that im going to get touched bah. that happened at the tuesday night one when i was filled with the Holy Fire. God told eunice and eunice told me.
anyway, back to the point, i speak in tongues for a long long long time. but nothing happened. but THANK GOD! after a long long time... i fell. and i just continued to speak in tongues.. then suddenly, when i was lying, i was filled with the Holy Spirit and started to cry. with sound one leh. very long time since i cry with sound. so i just keep crying. but it was not very consistent. sometimes i stop awhile then i cry again.. im not really sure what im crying abt though. but slowly, i think abt the sad stuffs and let them out and tell God that life is soooo irritating without Him and i decide to live for Him once again.
then later, my mama came and pray for me too. then slowly, i began to be filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit and i laughed. but it was a while only. then later my mama was asking me to get up.. though i was quite disturbed and felt that i was not completely done yet, but slowly, i just got up. and to my surprise, everyone was gone alr! i was the only one lying on the floor! im the last to fall and the last to get up. cool! haha. make me think of a verse. the first will be the last and the last will be the first. haha. so im the first! =D
then when i tried walking. it was very unstable. its like someone drunk like that. LOL. but its only for around 20 steps only la. after that then its slightly better.
haha. His works are amazing, wonderful and awesome isnt it? i finally got touched by the Holy Spirit and it felt very very real to me..
then two days ago, the tuesday night one, i went again. pastor joshua was praying for me and i was touched. Jesus says that He really really loves me alot! and He says that im His BEST child! in my heart, i was like, really? i din even do anthing for you... but pastor joshua emphasised it to me again.. HE REALLY REALLY LOVES ME ALOT!! Praise God!
i was like YES! im going to make sure that im really His BEST child and do many many things for Him..
thank God! although til now, i din really do anything yet, and i did many things that i regretted, but i can feel His Presence with me again! once in a while, i can feel Him prompting me to do His Works though i sometimes chose to ignore it.. xD but i regretted alot! i really desire to keep my mortal ways behind me and one day be really really close to Him.. such that i can hear His voice everytime and choose the right thing to do..
whatever it is, i really really thank God for loving me so so so soooooooo much! though sometimes i tend to forget that Jesus died for ME on the cross. but i thank Him for His comfort and provisions.
and haha.. i think im getting too into it alr.. shall stop now... =D
and you know what?
i really feel like telling the whole wide world that GOD REIGNS FORVER AND EVER AND HE IS A REALLY REALLY COOL GOD! haha. GOD is not boring at all HE is a FUN GOD!
YAY! HAHA. i realised im getting to another paragraph. shall stop now! shall blog some other time! hahahahahahahahahahahaha......... =DD
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